Creating Mindful Acceptance: Notice. Accept. Choose.

Dr. Lorne Brown presents enthusiastically about his experience with depression and how he found his way out by finding the moment and truly being within it. This experience is expressed often by individuals recovering or coming out of the depressive state. The process of mindful acceptance is often a long road for many. Even those of us who may be more inclined toward the ‘yogi’ mindset, the mindfulness and calming of the brain and mind are some of the hardest skills to come by.

YouTube Animated Video - How Mindfulness Can Make You Feel Better

The journey truly is important and something to reflect on and embrace (whether positive or negative). In a negative state or mood, the tendency is often to fight back and oppose or try to avoid the feelings. However, it is in fact important to sit within the feelings and find peace with them. Though this is not a short or easy activity, and likely requires support from others (including possibly your psychologist), by noticing, accepting, and choosing to be within the feelings, the natural response of the brain and body is counteracted over time.

Notice: first, the sensations, emotions, reactions, that you feel. Notice the feelings and experiences within you that guide your thoughts.

Accept: where you are and what you are experiencing. Accept the moment for what it is.

Choose: to be. Choose to accept and experience every aspect, and know that you will simply be in this state for now. Be in the moment, no matter how difficult or uncomfortable.

Anxiety and depression are both founded in the Past or Future. They are not about the Now. Though a negative experience may create negative feelings, a focus on the present moment is not a continuation of thought on the negative event, as the negative event is either in the past or the future. By focusing on the present and the now, it is impossible to worry about the past or future. Now and Current moments, including during times like COVID-19, are only about the immediate state. They do not think about previous moments that may have gone poorly, or were “mistakes”, and they do not question or worry about the future moments or uncertainty. In the here and now, you are only you, sitting or standing or laying in a place surrounded by things. There are no other moments to worry about, only the present moment. In the bathtub example at the beginning, there is only the person, in the bath, surrounded by water, bubbles, maybe candles - light or dark, quiet or loud - there are no judgements, no questions. There are just the sensations of touch, sound, smell, sight, and taste. When we bring a moment inward and focus only on sensations, without judgement, and only awareness, we are capable of peace.

YouTube Video - Mindful Breathing activity (5 mINUTES)

When experiencing low mood, the calm that comes with meditation can sometimes be unnerving at first. It is not always pleasant to be in the moment, per se, if that moment is particularly sad - however, this is part of the practice and the importance of mindful acceptance. We cannot properly process that which we ignore or avoid. We are stronger than we sometimes feel, and in times of sadness, mindful acceptance can elicit a feeling of deep emotion but ultimately will result in moving through the time of sadness sooner than if that sensation is avoided, ignored, or judged harshly. Judgement of the negative emotions leads to intensity and activation of the nervous system. Our emotions themselves are not dangerous - but the negative judgements we place on them lead to greater pain and less acceptance.

Mindful breathing is one way of experiencing awareness of sensation - but is not exactly the same as mindful acceptance. Mindful acceptance is the act of acknowledging and accepting where, what, and who you are, in each moment. A wise and wonderful colleague of mine recently reminded me that 5-minutes a day (a few times if possible), of mindful breathing, is a seemingly simple way to retrain the nervous system and reduce stress and anxiety. We all need support from time-to-time ;)